As you know we’ve just had Christmas. The Inlaws have everything, and two of everything at that. So not wanting to waste money on another ceramic teapot that was going to get stuck in the back of the cupboard, my wife and I decided to get them a little break away. The original plan was for the two of them to go to a wood cabin near Wales, England. The only cabins available at short notice were for four people, so my wife decided we should go too. “We can get away” she said. “We can sneak off and have some alone time.” “And its in the sale, so we get a four-person cabin for the price of a two-person.” She managed to convince me.
We recently went on this break, my wife, the Inlaws and myself. And what a break it was. You may have figured from my recent posts about the Inlaws and our adventures (I use the word loosely) that my Inlaws are somewhat of a nightmare. Well, this trip was no different.
Upon giving the couple their brochure for Christmas to explain what we had bought them, we figured they’d know what it was and what was available and on offer. Boy, were we wrong. We agreed to take two seperate cars, rather than travel together (to my relief) due to the amount of stuff we would pack for the four-day trip. When my father-in-law suggested he should bring the trailer (I was only vaguely listening) I should have realised they needed their ‘to pack list’ revising. They met us at the cabin, an hour after we arrived. I went to the car to help them unload, only to be handed rolled up sleeping bags, camping lights and a blow up bed. Apparently, neither of them had read the brochures, as having the grandkids over Christmas and New Year had taken up most of their time, therefore they thought a ‘cabin’ was like an old-fashioned cabin in the Westerns they watch. They thought they wouldnt have a real bed, and everything would be lit by candles. I mean…you cant make this stuff up.
Anyway, everything was straightened out and we all had a laugh about it. My wife and I had originally intended to have the en-suite room, for a little romance in the shower one morning. But my father-in-law insisted they take it because it only had a shower and the main bathroom had a bath, which they wouldn’t be using. I saw the sense of that and didn’t mind too much, only problem was every morning we couldn’t use our bathroom for the first forty-five minutes because the father-in-law was hibernating in there, and it was a further twenty minutes after he exited before either of us were brave enough to venture in there.
The next topic of discussion:the hot tub. I will not tell you much but I will tell you this: an elderly, wrinkled, grey-haired and hairy chested man, wearing speedos (that I think he stole from his grandson) is not a pretty sight and quite frankly should be outlawed. I found a tactic to deal with this though by sending the Inlaws out to the hot tub first while i carried drinks to make sure his body was fully submerged under water by the time I got there. My wife and I had decided it was in poor taste to make romantic love in the hot tub one night after the Inlaws had gone to bed, especially when we weren’t the only ones using it. Unfortuantely when I woke up during the night one time and went to get a drink from the kitchen, I discovered the Inlaws had no such rule.
There was a little nature tour that you could go on first thing in the morning. My mother-in-law found a leaflet in the reception and was impressed by the pictures of the families with butterlies on their hands, and squirrels on the pathway in front of them. Naturally when neither of these things happened and all we spotted in a ninety-minute walk was a pair of robins, and about thirty different species of trees, foliage and holly, she wasn’t very happy. Which led to a very embarrassing altercation between the tour guide and my father-in-law who proceeded to give the young lad a ear-lashing about the ‘false advertising’ they used for their nature trails, and how if they were going to show a picture of a squirrel eating a nut on a pathway 2ft away from a little boy, then they should be prepared to make sure that happens. It only took me ten minutes and a £10 tip to diffuse the situation.
But all in all we had a great time, played games, ate hotdogs, went for walks, my wife and I did manage to get some alone time too. Then when we were loading the cars to head home, my mother-in-law mentioned that they’d actually left almost two hours before us to arrive to the cabin and still arrived an hour after us. My father-in-law, who spends most of the time ignoring the sat-nav we bought him two years ago, took his own route (the scenic route he calls it) and they got lost. I suggested they just follow us home. And he did. All the way home. To our home, twenty-two miles past their own!